Manny Oh Man!!!

Anti Air Conditioner

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 14:38:29 GMT

Yet again the girl and the husband set out to destroy my life. For the two legged walking things i guess the weather is just too hot...too humid...and they always need to complain about how hot it is...and how humid it is. They just dont understand that im always acclimated to the present weather conditions.

So they wouldnt complain any more they ran out and bought this big huge gigantic noisy air cooling thing thats just INCREDIBLY annoying. They put it in their bedroom. Well this thing throws me through a loop and basically throws a wrench in my life. I try to go in there to hang out...sleep, but i cant with this THING causing so many problems. I dont even really go in there any more. Instead i will stay elsewhere where the climate is more temparate and tropical. I can hang out with the fish, and stare at my artwork that K got me last Christmas. At that point my happyness level rises as i stare at that painting...much like in The Sims. So im able to chill out and relax and basically pass out like im drunk on the nice hardwood floors while i stare at the ceiling and ponder life. All because the girl and the husband ruin certain areas of the house.

Jealous points...The Twins cat is staying with grandmar right now. Next time i see her shes going to hear it from me. I feel like im being cheated on. This just isnt right...

The closet Incident and its revenge

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 21:15:00 GMT

Welll...insurance, paperwork, and repairs seem to be going along smoothely for the girl and husband. So i dont need to act as an emotional crutch for these people anymore. Hey life has gotta move on, until it doesnt and its game over. But hey...my game still has a LONG way to go. Let me back track to Satuday.

Early that morning the girl was acting like she knew how to clean up around the house. shes all running back and forth between the kitchen and the hall closet. and that hall closet is like pergatory. it has the beloved fancy feast, a bunch of miscellaneous garbage, and then theres the vaacuum. boy when the girl and husband go into that closet its like theyre shaking my hand and punching me in the face at the same time. but regardless that closet rocks! even with the evil vaccuum. so the girl as i said is pretending to clean. so i went in there to hang out for a while. I mean she left the door open for me. obviously she wanted me to go in there.

but then after a minute its just like...what in the world is going on? the girl put the vaacuum in the closet and literally just slammed the door right in my face. i thought she was just joking around and would open the door right away...ya know just joking around. but no this was all malice and sinister. it felt like i was in there for days...just trapped. i had to start building a device to open the fancy feast, along with a new living quarters in there. finally im just like the hell with this and i just started meowing like crazy! basically saying get me the hell out of here. she tried to appologize with some treats, but that doesnt give me my past back.

oh this situation requires some revenge. phase one is to start hiding. hiding in all the dark corners, and attack when the girl gets close. i hide behind the dining room table, behind the bed...the couch. oh and it scares the living daylights out of her! Shes always caught off guard by it too. Last night i jumped on the bed and landed right by her ear. Oh i know it gets to her. and all of this is well deserved. heh.

now things will die down a little i think...and then i will launch phase two. she will be in shock and awe!!!...

where have all the good times gone...

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 05:18:19 GMT

this is unfortunate...it has been over 2 months since i last told you about my latest conspiracy findings, attempted attacks, and just my overall recent coolness. so for that i give my fullest apologies. but hey good news is that rumor has it owning a cat is good for your blood pressure, stress level, and cholesterol. someone should probably tell K that so he doesnt just drop dead! But anyway...

So quite a bit of unfortunate news with the girl and the husband. Late sunday afternoon i was sitting around, just waiting to be fed...and waiting...and waiting...and waiting more. Finally after i ate my stash of chocodiles, pringles, and a Dr. Pepper the girl and the husband FINALLY get home. I came out of hiding and the girl is just bawling. At first i just thought "oh great what now?!" But then i heard about the car. Obviously some people need to pay more attention to life...like certain people in Honda Pilots. But regardless i was still hungry so i ran into the kitchen and gave them a pretty good hint that i was starving. To put everyone in a better mood i just acted like my typical cool self...purring, being social. ya know how it is. But thats me, cool and cumforting.

The car is in pretty bad shape...aint that a shame. But atleast nobody got hurt. it was one of the darkest days...

Mosaic Manny

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 15:07:45 GMT

OK...so sorry i havent been around lately. ya know cats have busy lives with lots of things to do, and sometimes i just dont have time for the human elements of life. Besides mentally i have felt like a little chinese with thinking. but thats no problem. Oh besides i heard K was over in China last week...that probably had something to do with my mentality. but rumor has it the K was going through one of the factories and their showroom and he found this item below. look how cool it is. Now here is what you are seeing. What you are seeing is basically me, but made in mosaic glass. very cool looking. its probably 6-8 inches tall and maybe 15 inches long. I always knew i was pretty damn cool, but i didnt know that chinese factories even knew about me and started modeling me in mosaic. what an honor. and thats a great job by K for recognizing it and finding it for me. what a cool character. i think i should try and have K get it over here to the US for me. OK i feel more american again so my blogs should start picking up more again. bye for now.

-the kool kat with the mosaic piece eating fancy feast - Maaanster!!! awwwwwww yeeeeeaaaaaaaa!

Dun dun DUN!

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:30:24 GMT

i take you to a place where few humans have ever been or even attempt to go. A place where the majority of its residents include but are not limited to, one lone sock; storage containers; a sneaker. but today, ladies and gentlemen, i am bringing you one step closer...into the world of Manny. This strange world I speak about, is a quiet, dark, place meant for snoozing, contemplation and hiding from everyday evils - but who really knows what exactly goes on in there?! The safe haven from life is exclusive to the few lucky enough to be able to enter. Easy enough to enter if you have the secret password. And today, you all have the password and can now enter. So without waiting any further, Ladies and Gentlemen, I take you the underbelly of the bed...also know as...THE HIDEOUT!

This area is one of the key places on the face of the earth. From ferocious dust bunnies, to the coolness of the toy mouse this area holds many secrets. Unfortunately most of them can not be told at this time. Once inside this wonderful abode one can enter clear thought and clarity. Any outsiders trying to enter will be swiped with a severe scratch. The risk of an ousider even looking in here risks being cursed. This is the ultimate thinking area with a clear mind.

My most recent thoughts have to do with my music career. im going to be a superstar! the biggest of superstars...the most ultimate of rockstars! i will out do the likes of led zeppelin, van halen, aerosmith, ac/dc, and bon jovi combined! i anticipate playing outdoor venues where i will draw over 250K people. Now naturally i cant do this myself...well actually i can...but im nice enough to just mention other people anyway. So last time in my abode i came up with my thank you list. So before it shows up in my album, you, will have a chance to see it first...

I would like to thank everyone involved with the release of this album. Even though you know who you are, it is important you are mentioned anyway. I need to thank my buddy K. You are the king of song writing, and melody. Its almost as if you weren’t there my songs wouldn’t exist. You rock buddy…cant wait to hang out again! My toy mouse. You mean so much to me. You know just when to come around to lighten up the mood. Thanks for letting me use you as my own personal punching bag haha. You are awesome bro! To the armoire…so many storys. Rest in peace man. I will never forget you! To the Girl, thank you for everything. The anger you provide makes me go into super anger writing mode with a lot of passion. Just kidding…youre awesome girl! The husband – youre split personalities with your liking/frustrating relationship with me is awesome. Its awesome that we can mess around with no hard feelings. Rock steady bro and let the good times roll! The red dot – you inspire me. You teach me to keep going for my goals. One day you will be caught! You really are a true inspiration for me. You are the epitome of the phrase “every bad boy rocker has a soft side” well im just waiting to hit your soft side because I will eventually break through your hard shell. Thank you to the couch…to say you rock would be a paradox because you are so comfortably soft! You are awesome bro keep on truckin. To those of you not mentioned I just want to let you know youre not forgotten (well actually maybe you are). Keep Rockin out! - Manny

i picked up manny chatter...

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 17:44:29 GMT

im getting a little curious as to what this all means. as you all know i spy a lot on the girl and the husband so i can get intel on whats going on with life...because their decisions effect me. well here is a conversation i picked up between the girl and K over email. i wont post the irrelevent parts of the conversation, but the topic came up with K asking how freezing it is in NY while dallas is nice and toasty warm. the girl mentioned that its so cold that she would "fling herself out the window" so i will pick the conversation up from there. going through this conversation does this mean that im on my way to texas? in a cat carrier?!?! errrrrrrr!!!

K: If you fling yourself 1500 miles you can be here hanging out…ya know where its warm

Girl: well if airlines didn't charge so dang much to get oneself to Texas, where its warm, I would.

K: Well you can charge it once and then just stay and never go back. Then it wouldn’t be a problem so much.

Girl: then it would be an investment.

K: Yeah see! Im always the thinker. So youre really saving money

Girl: ok, i'll prepare manny for his flight.

K: So what plane are you getting on

Girl: it depends how long it takes to get manny in his carrier. he doesn't like flying.

K: Well what if I talk to him first? I think I can settle him down.

Girl: maybe. depends on what you say, i guess. no bad language.

K: Why would I use bad language? Is that the reputation I have…is that of a constant cursor. I would be nothing but nice and say the right things

Girl: just making sure. he's sensitive. his new thing is to sit on top of the nightstand, stare at the miscellaneous things on the nightstand, then throw them off the nightstand with his paw. I.e. the remote control. Thats a very Uncle Kevin like thing to do. Some, I blame you.

K: I completely disagree. How is that a very Kevin thing to do? I don’t throw things around. So you go ahead and blame me for your parental shortcomings. He iis sensitive and sometimes he can tend to overreact for sure.

Girl: Oh I can picture you just pushing things off the nightstand just to see what would happen next, hence a kevin like thing to do. nothing to do with parental shortcomings. he loves his mommy.

K: I see your point…however in a case like this I know what would happen next. I push the remote off, it hits the floor, and then it breaks, or it doesn’t. so I wouldn’t do it. But ok I see your point. Well im sure lots of disobedient children love there moms too J but it doesn’t necessarily keep them out of trouble. Like manny scratching you haha

Girl: he was just playing!

K: I know…hey he can come play with weeble and zeus. Maybe he can help weeble lose some weight and zeus become less stupid.

Girl: weeble would eat him. and then zues would still be stupid.

K: Oh man youre right. Yeah but calypso is the protector. She will keep everyone in line.

Girl: good old calypso! ok, manny can visit.

i finally realized that this is the perfect high

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 05:14:07 GMT

now knowing the the girl posted pics of me (including the one with the bow!) ive had too much nip to even care right now. all i know is that i got spoiled to death with treats, a treat jar, a festive food dish, teasers and the list goes on. the funny thing is that none of this stuff was from the girl or the husband. this is only what everyone else gave me. with all of these gifts from others i figured i would get a million billion gifts from the girl and the husband. but to my shock and surprise...what did i get? a mat and a stupid scratching post! this must be a joke for sure! 2 things...thats all i really got from them...2 things!

i mean what do i need a scratching post for? if i want to scratch something i just go right for the girls bedroom nightstand. but then i realized the real ultra cool fantastic funness and enjoyment of that oh so glorious blanket. ohhhhhhh yeeeeeaaaaaaa...its like a psycodelic trick blanket. it has a nice stash of nip inside it. oh man i can hang out with this thing all day long. actually i guess thats not really true...i get so into this stuff that after a while i just pass out...its that good! infact, im just gonna go pass out now...yeaaaa. ya know...the girl still owes me a lot for those photographs though. this does not nearly make up for that humiliation. its like ralphies pink nightmare bunny thing from a christmas story. nobody ever forgets about that stuff. this is just something that nobody will ever forget. ok thats it im done and out...bye!

GRRRRR Part 2...well not so GRRRR

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 06:40:42 GMT

OK Girl where was i? oh yeah. at this point i am leaving the husband out of it since right now you are my primary contact for this situation. so anyway...ive been thinking a real lot over the past few days. now do i still feel neglected? well the answer to that is basically yes. i mean if i were in your position i would have just teleported back to NY, but hey...thats just me. you made your decision. but i learned that i can still have fun even if you dont make it back for new years.

As soon as i realized you wouldnt be back i immediately got out my black book. "ive got my black book. its loaded with phone numbers. potential lovers. new worlds to discover. you would think i really got it made now. new rayban shades but im a heartache on parade now. i walk around with the blues. i need some sensible shoes." ok i went on a little david lee roth solo career song rant. sorry. but i got out my black book and called up all of the coolest cats in town.

man i had a blast. and man some of these cats really know how to party. now none like me, but hey, im hard to top. i even had some famous cats over. Garfield, the cat from "the simpsons", Sylvester, and that cat in Bewitched all showed up. sylvester brought the cat from the smurfs who brought a whole lot of nip. i kept telling sylvester they should have had some of the surfs come by. sylvester was saying that the smurfs werent real, that they were just a cartoon, but i am no dummy and know thats not true so i wouldnt have any of that.

and bailey came by later too. man she was acting crazy torwards the end of the night. i had to get her a cab home because i had too much nip. we invented some new games also. the first game was called "marco polo". The object of this game was to locate as many of the husbands polo shirts as we possibly can, and mark them as ours and noting that we found them. and whoever has the most by the end of the party wins. i won.

actually Girl we also had a pool going as to what happened to you and the husband. the guesses ranged from going to a spandeau balet concert, to visiting a frito lays factory, to renting a uhaul and going to the nearest catnip factory to bring us back more nip. windex actually guessed that you went to...nevermind. thats not important. but yeah the point to this pointless blog is to prove a point to you girl...in the future you should have solved your problem by one of my recommended solutions. if not...hey...a phone call would be nice. but if youre stuck somewhere and cant get home i know that can mean party time for Manny. Cheers and Regards.

-Mannicotti "crazy taxi" Biscotti esquire!

GRRRR Part 1

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 19:31:47 GMT

To The Girl and The Husband,

I have received your letter, and i have some concerns. I believe your efforts were sincere to arrive back in time for new years, however, i believe there is more you could have done to arrive back on time. Your story although unfortunate is a risk of flying. Over the hollidays i was watching movies like Home Alone. Now if you recall the mom in the movie found a someone at the airport who was willing to drive her home. You should have done the same.

It is unfortunate that the Northwest mechanical delay happened. Maybe you should also ask them for compensation because THEY are the ones that cancelled due to mechanical failuer. You mentioned that you were unable to find anyone from American Airlines when you went back. Well here you could have done a couple of things. You were probably still in the gate area and since it was already late and not many flights leaving it is no surprise nobody was around. They won't staff people at empty desks or gates. Did you call American? Did you call K?...Im sure he could have called the super secret american airlines number and found out all the possibilities. You need to utilize the people you have around you.

The whole TSA thing i agree was pretty stupid. Generally I think what they do is acceptable. Hey if you want me to take my shoes off and everything to ensure an evil doer doesnt blow up my plane...thats fine by me. However, i think in this case they did go overboard.

But it would have been nice if you rented a car or took a bus, or walked back home to hang with me. But thats ok. See after realizing you may not be back i decided to have a few cats over. Actually a few ended up meaning about 110 by the end of the night. Man that cat Bailey really knows how to party!

And at this point to keep all of you in suspense...the party story will be continued...

COMING SOON

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 23:00:29 GMT

why i was able to do nip and party like a rockstar without the girl and the husband for new years...

[can you just feel the anticipation?]

bow to me

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 21:08:15 GMT

by now the girl and the husband should know not to laugh at me...especially after they try to dress me up with a rediculous bow! oh and as promised for the husbands laughing i saught revenge. and this was not a delayed revenge like i typically do. this issue had to be taken care of and addressed immediately! and as for the girl...yeah she helped me get the bow off. but that does not do any good because she is the one that really humiliated me by putting the bow on in the first place. to me thats like somebody saying...oh, let me throw mud on you for the next ten minutes...but ill help you clean some of it off when im done. point is that it should have never happened in the first place.

ok back to the revenge story. on this revengeful evening chicken happened to be on the menu, and that is one of the few human dishes that i will seek out. The husband made the mistake of getting up to retrieve a napkin and left his whole chicken dinner unattended...now that was a dumb move on his part! i started out by hunkering over the husbands plate. now if there was one thing on the face of this planet that i did not expect it was the girls reaction. i was expecting to get a "mannnnnnyyyyy!...get down from there!" but i was shocked...she did absolutely nothing. she totally left the husband out to dry. maybe i have gotten her to switch to my side.

i just started out by sniffing it a little bit. but as im doing all this it is all occuring to me. now eating it would be bad, but is there anything worse that i can do? oh you bet there is! instead of eating it...i just LICKED IT all over! the best part is i know the husband saw me. so i let him watch me lick it for a few seconds, and then i just jumped down and left. i swear the girl was even laughing and smirking at the husband with me. oh this chicken revenge was great...i didng eat any out of choice, and he CANT eat any because of me! heh!

the girl knows where her allegiances should lie, shes not that stupid...i dont think...

This blog is about me!

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 16:12:31 GMT

i have a real lot to say...as usual...you shouldnt be that surprised. i have so much to say i dont even know where to begin. well the christmas tree and centerpiece are still in place and in perfect working order. i need to throw curve balls to the world sometimes. if there is one thing i am not...it is predictable. i do the unexpected. so in this event...the tree is happy and still fully intact. my job right now is to find out what everyone got for christmas. i fully inspect all wrapped gifts to figure these things out. i love knowing what other people got eachother. that way i can drop the most subtle hints so i can amuse myself...but nobody ever figures my hints out.

Rumor has it that grandmar almost got a new feline. that would have been kind of cool, but then attention gets drawn away from me. i cant allow that to happen. girl and grandmar were at petco for me...to get me toys...and many toys they better be giving me. grandmar getting a new cat is not a toy for manny. ill have to scratch grandmar off my "run away to" list. heh...just kidding i can never do that. she didnt get the cat so no harm no foul...shes a smart human...

so i spent most of this weekend watching the girl and the husband bake. it was like being a studio audience for the food network like with rachel ray or something. lets see what can we name their show if they had one...ummmmm...uhhhhhhhh...ummmm..."soul kitchen" (cant go wrong with a doors song when you cant think of anything) oh wait or "groove kitchen" ok so my show ideas arent so good today. but again with all this baking i think they neglected me. they really didnt even notice i existed. FINALLY they moved on to present wrapping. atleast i can have some involvement in this. swiping at ribbons, brushing up against boxes...you just cant beat it!

well by the time everything is said and done with i am practically the only thing that is not decorated. which leads me to the next reason on why i am going to beat up the girl and the husband. While i was sleeping the girl put a red bow on me...can you believe that? A RED BOW!...on me! i mean what is the girl thinking? im not just some pet the girl can just decorate and prance around for her friends, for their own amusement. this is worthy of some sort of revenge. although i did look like some sort of james bond. it was like i was attending a christmas party in prague undercover for the british secret service. someone else may have their generic holiday party...but this was a christmas party if i ever saw one! at this party i must save the world. such an upscale event here, oh...and the female felines...i have never seen such beautiful felines! the world is about to implode in 10 minutes unless i achieve my mission. just as the evil doers are about to escape i capture them and just say in my really cool voice "the name is biscotti...mannicotti...biscotti!" and i got them to tell me how to save the world. ahh...of course! i couldnt believe i didnt figure it out on my own. i run over to the other side of the ballroom...and hidden iniside the giant chandelier i see the source of earths implosion. its a giant red dot device! it flashes the red dot on the wall and if the red dot hits the mirror on the wall the earth will be doomed. the device is making a noise and a poof. i leap up in the air and catch the red dot! i did it! success! i save the world! by catching the red dot the earth is saved. as i leave i make sure to escort two lovely ladies out on each arm. ohhhhhhhhhh yeaaaaaaaaaaa...and one of them happened to have catnip! you can all thank me for saving your life. some catnip is a pretty good thank you gift.

but then reality set in and the husband laughed. well oh yeah...lets see how hard your laughing later husband. maybe i will sabotage all of your polos.

oh well...this christmas story will be continued.

the return of the ultra fantastically super coolness of the christmas tree goodness. Blog 2 of 2

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 04:31:10 GMT

oh yes...here it comes. as the girl and the husband would call it "the return of the christmas tree" they have finally brought my glorious toy back to me. this whole thing started this past sunday. seeing this massive tree come through the front door is kind of freaky at first. its been a whole year so its like revisiting old times as it comes through the door. they would place my small toys throughout the tree every day after they came home from work. i stay out of the way while all this is going on. because as they put my toys up, i must stretegically plan my best angle of attack to take them all down. the tree smells pretty good so i had to take some sniffs...it kind of reminded me of cat nip...the kind that "accidentally" gets flushed down the toilet.

so i lay all day planning the best way to win the game. its like a rubix cube. since it is always good to use the people around you i have also hired on the fish to think of ideas how to do this. they havent been much help so far. but windex is doing a really good job keeping that glass clean so the other fish can see. but its tough to decide which toys to go after. you need to decide what other toys should come down, and what benefeits knocking a toy down would have. i mean some toys i like so i would bat it down to play with it. other toys i dont like i would bat it down and beat it up. like for example the girl and husband have sports teams toys with mets and yankees logos. now its obvious what to do with those, and its common sense why one ball would come down and the purpose it serves, and one toy would stay and the purpose that serves. you may be confused but its straight forward for me. but i also need to keep other toys on the tree that i like and hate because i cant upset the girl and the husband too much. the would kill me if they found an empty tree. but im sure id get to go to grandmars or the twins maybe.

oh great...the girl went all martha stewart on us and bought red and gold toys to put in a glass bowl as a centerpiece on the coffee table. so whats next for you girl? are you going to get arrested for stock securities fraud and lie to investigators? anyway...that center piece should get it! normally i would say its only a matter of time before i get those toys. but its almost too easy. ill decide on those toys later on depending how the tree goes.

im taking a poll on whether i should go after the center piece. that can influence my decision.

oh my theme song right now is o christmas tree...ill have to work on getting that playing

Manny and his ABC's - Blog 1 of 2

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 03:49:00 GMT

mannyed is right...i originally started writing in green and red, but i didnt realize how truly annoying and difficult that color combination was when i started. so instead i will just use a christmasy font.

My Alphabet!

A- Available or taken? Well...considering im basically stuck in the house all day its kinda hard to pick up all the chickie kats. And even so, i no longer have any gonads so i dont even have the drive. I believe this has been brought up before.

B- Best Friend? Oh this is a no brainer...K i mean c'mon...this borderlines a stupid question the answer is so obvious. Windex is actually really cool too! And ill throw in the girl and husband as notables.

C- Cake or Pie? CAKE!!! Will it taste like fish or my super treats?

D- Drink of Choice? A red devil. it takes like fruit punch and its just filled with alcohol and you can just suck those drinks down because of the fruit punch taste. its a girlie drink but i dont even care...ill admit it! the girl and husband need to restock their liquor cabinet...

E- Essential Item? the couch with my mouse sitting on a cushion...that counts as one item because they occupy the same space!
F- Favorite Color? the three hundred and thirty second shade of grey

G- Gummi Bears or Worms? oh worms...why in the world would i want to try and eat a bear? that would be dumb i would have no chance against a bear. i dont think a bear would taste good either.

H- Hometown? Long Island...somewhere...probably under a dumpster or something behind waldbaums.

I- Indulgence? cat nip...yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa cat nip

J- January or February? and what exactly is the difference? its still cold...and dark in both months...february i guess cuz its closer to spring. warm weather and longer days. i cannot feel it because i am jailed inside a house. but i can see it by continuously looking out the window

K- Kids and names? ohhhhhhhhh heeeeeyyyyyyy looooook...its the letter K. i wonder whats going on with K in dallas right now?! probably something really cool. anyway to the question. ok you know those geico commercials with the cave man? where he always gets upset and offended because they say "even a cave man can do it" that guy is exactly what im like with this question and issue. yet again...it is extremely hard to have a kids...WITH NAMES...when you are not cable to produce them. its amazing that this topic keeps coming up. thanks for the reminders MSN.
L- Life is incomplete without? MDF hardboard and plywood. dr. pepper soda cans. and canadian tire stores.

M- Marriage Date? again with this issue. why and how would i get married. i never leave the house, and i cant have kids. revert to letter K...heh...K
N- Number of Siblings? oh i dont know...10, 12, 15...how many is in a litter? let me see if i can find out from geneology.com

O- Oranges or apples? blueberrys! not only are they a glorious source of food. but they are extremely fun to bat around and play hockey with. that is until the girl wrecks the day and sweeps them up

P- Phobias/Fears? the motorola logo, the purple teletubby, left hand gloves, nail clippers, vaacums, thermostats, red dots, vines, loud noise.
Q- Favorite Quote? "it aint whether you win or lose...its how cool you look doing it!" - DLR

R- Reason to Smile? i think you mean reason to purr? ok...REASON TO PURR...K, treats, fancy feast, grandmar, pets, playing the bongos, cat nip...ohhhhhhh yeeeeeeaaaaa cat nip! that just gets me into, like, super purring mode!
S- Season? based on from what i can see...since uhhh you know by now i dont go out much, spring does look the best. in the spring time i would run through the fields and pastures and fish out by the lake. thats how we got the fish. and then i would usually take my trips to cancun for spring break to get on MTV and help them film felines gone wild. crazy times for crazy cats. ok so none of that never really happened, but thats how id imagine it.

T- Tag three people! i dont tag people...i dont discriminate...anyone that wants to do it can do it.

U- Unknown Fact about Me! i have many many many hidden things througoht the house along with booby traps.

V- Vegetable you hate? im ahead of the game since i dont get fed many vegetable like things.
W- Worst habit? oh i dont have any bad habits. im perfect...there is nothing wrong with me. i think everyone else has issues though. but i dont, im beyond that...

X- X-Rays you've had? i dont know what they secretly do to me while i am at the vet

Y- Your favorite food? fancy feast and treats...oh yeah and cat nip...i dont care if its not real food it should still count
Z- Zodiac? this is actually more of an involved question then you would think. i was born on july 9 which would make me a cancer. but the midwife was drunk and didnt file a birth certificate until august 4. so technically im a cancer, but legally im a Leo.

6 things survey

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 16:24:02 GMT

The Rules:

Each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you”. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

6 weird things about you: in no particular order

1. As many of you know cats like fish. So a lot of times when i stare at the fish tank i think to myself how they would probably taste really good. but sometimes i wonder...what if cats didnt eat fish, but the fish eat cats. if the fish could eat me would they? would i taste good? what if i had gills instead of lungs? i dunno sometimes it just makes you think...

2. many days while the girl and the husband are at work i will dress up in the girl and the husbands clothing. like i might wear the girls jeans and one of the husbands many polo shirts a pair of girls socks, and a pair of the husbands socks and i will have mock conversations with myself. most times its a playful argument over whether i like the mets or the yankees better. this is very fun because it can last for hours and hours.

3. at night i sometimes run around the couch. i usually pretend im in a nascar race and i am neck and neck with tony stewarts home depot number 20 car. i pretend we are torwards the finish and just before the finish line i look over to him and hit him with a 2x4x10 (i pretend my tail is lumber) and that leads me to win the race. the fish totally watch and cheer for me...possibly wanting to eat me??? god what are they thinking about in there!!!

4. i like to sing. again while the husband and girl are at work ill take one of the husbands golf clubs and use it as a microphone. i look so cool too as i look at myself in the decorative mirror/photo frame piece K gave them. the only thing im missing is my joe elliot (def leppard's singer) mullet. man i wish i had a mullet...those things are so cool. i usually pretend im on american idol since im a better singer then almost everyone on the show.

5. as i walk around the house i can only step on certain floor planks, tile squares, and areas of carpet. my walking is very deliberate during those time periods.

6. when i hang out with the girl and/or the husband i count the minutes of play so i can later bill them for my time. the toy mouse, the fish on the string and other general toys get billed regular time. the dot device because of frustration level gets billed as double time. feeding and cleanliness of the litter box gets billed back as regular time per hour. i currently have them billed at 439 hours of play. now since im generous i will give them really good terms at 2% discount if they pay in the first 5 days. and it will be net30. oh i forgot to tell the girl and the husband that these terms started on november 1 because i needed to get paid in time to do christmas shopping. so theyre currently 4 days past due.

people i want to do this survey:

windex

the toy mice

girl and husband

bob errey

everyone

people between the ages of 252 months and 312 months from ocala florida.

K is for Kewl! and i mean REALLY KEWL!

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 16:37:30 GMT

you guys have no idea what a super cool thanksgiving i had. the girl and the husband were gone for a couple of days which basically means that i get to hang out with grandmar and the twin. now how cool is that!!! dont tell the girl this because she will get a little mad, but it wasnt the twin this time who gave me some nip, it was grandmar. she gives me nip...and then she knows i got the munchies and she just spoils me with some treats and fancy feast. now it is always real cool to see grandmar and the twin, but on wednsday night i had just the ultimate surprise visitor!

i was just laying down and hanging out by the kitchen and bedroom and i heard the door open. now thats not very unusual since they do need to come home from work at some point. but they had somebody with them. it took my eyes a little while to adjust to a new light, and a third figure started to get a little clearer. and then i saw him! i couldnt believe it! until this point i have only heard stories and seen pictures. it began to look like that guy K, but his hair was a little darker and longer then the pictures i had seen. but it was definitely him. i was beginning to think that they were completely making up a friend called "K" but now i know its true. it was such a shock i didnt know what to do with myself. at first i just ran under my bed just out of instinct. but then i thought to myself "now wait a minute...i have heard things about this person called K...i feel like i know him already" so i preceded to go and greet them all, but of course still with some caution.

together we all just had THE GRANDEST time! i needed to maximize my K time cuz that guy just seems too cool. I think even K was surprised that i hung out so much. I know the bad reputation i have for running under my bed as soon as a new face steps in the door. but that reputation is totally unwarrented. K is such a different circumstance. but as i got to know K some more and after sniffing his shoes, petting myself against his leg and things of that nature it is easy to understand why he is so likeable.

and we had such a great time. together we would play with my toy mouse, and boy he really got me going with that dot device. it was still frustrating to not catch it, but since i never get to hang with K it was all cool! he even gave me some pointers and advice, but theres no way i can believe what he told me on how to catch that dot. he even caught me staring at the fish a few times and laughed at me, but i dont even care about that. yeah we definitely had a cool connection going. i think if i play my cards right i can get K to hook me up with some catnip too, and he even said he would get me some more toys. i think he is giving me hints for getting me my nip. he said "Now Manny, you will get a great gift for Christmas, i am a good gift giver and i nip things in the bud when it comes to gifts!" now to me i think that means that he will hide my stash inside my toy. do you agree? does that make sense?

anyway the girl went to bed so it was just me, K, and the husband. all night i would pose for pictures and just look cool for the camera. you can guarantee that they will be posted on this site. and i will have comments for all. oh i forgot to mention that i also had a little fun with K too...while he was sleeping i jumped up to his bed and poked my wet nose into his elbow. heh...that scared him to death. but in return it starteled me a bit too. but it was worth it. i knew he would understand its all in good fun...what a crazy cool character that guy is. but he should know better then to sleep with his elbow hanging off the edge of the bed...he must have been in dumb mode at that time. later on i took a nap at the foot of the bed, but only for a little while. his bed had the best view of the fish in the house because he decided to leave the fish tank light on. but the girl or the husband never snapped a picture of me hanging out with K...but not to worry...i have a way to fix this situation. but i was super excited for that night, and i just cant wait until he comes back to hang out again. outside of grandmar and the twins house to go to in times of crisis i now have another option in K...he told me how awesome dallas is. wow what a blast that would be. i can turn into "nomad manny" and trek cross country. anyway i need to work on pictures so everyone can see the coolness of that night...to be continued...

god what now.

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 21:46:05 GMT

They did it again...YET AGAIN...the girl and the husband have found a way to just tear apart the existance of my weekend. it seems to be the same ole story with the bed...just a new weekend. they just keep messing with my bed! it all starts off with a nice peaceful sleep. then soon after a ring of the phone. then a little bit of commotion begins. my curiosity gets the best of me so i do some investigating. and what do i see them doing. they are toying around with my prized area under the bed. we have been through this before...why must they do this. its...its just all gone. this whole situation just competely puts me in panic mode...i just dont even know what to do anymore. wheres some catnip?

and now these strange looking people start walking in and out of the house...people i do not know, nor have i seen before. i dont know them...i cant trust them. what if they want to steal my mouse? like i said last time something like this happened in times of crisis i needed a backup place to go. i have secured an area behind the wall unit thing. i will not disclose any more information on this because i need to make sure this area does not get tampered with either.

The girl later tried to coax me out with some treats, my fake toy mice (which thankfully was not stolen), and the mysterious red dot device which i am still working on catching, just not in this time of crisis. we will have to wait and see if this new mattress is as good as the old one...i am highly critical of these things. so while in hiding i wrote this quickie song. sound influence...think of a cross between Sting - If I Ever Lose My Faith, and Lenny Kravitz - Thinking of You

Verse 1

Sometimes it seems,

nothing ever goes my way

At night,

i think,

theyll all take my toys away

Verse 2

their noise and presence sends me to my spot

taking the old mattress where i stayed a lot

replaced that old one with something thats new

hate these changes from my point of view

Chorus

im afraid you wont protect me

i worry youre not cushy

but god you are so beautiful

beautiful but i hope you are not ugly on the inside

on the inside

Verse 3

the girl that tries to coax me out of my spots

its treats, its toys, and uncatchable red dots

why do you let these strangers handle my bed?

the thoughts theyll steal my mouse it fills my head

that brand new mattress will you keep me protected?

Chorus

im afraid you wont protect me

i worry youre not cushy

but god you are so beautiful

beautiful, but i hope you are not ugly on the inside

on the inside

bridge

beautiful

you are so beautiful

you are so beautiful on the outside

beautiful

you are that beautiful

but will you be so beautiful,

when i lay down by your side

Chorus

im afraid you wont protect me

i worry youre not cushy

but god you are so beautiful

but i hope you are not ugly on the inside

on the inside (3X)

The Days of Manny Lives On

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 16:44:38 GMT

Man i have been so busy and active lately. First off i need to say that the girl last week was nice enough to leave her little treasure chest open for me to go in and sleep on her clothes. she likes me to sleep in there...i like my confined boxes, especially the wooden ones. But ill tell ya that thing gives me some pretty weird dreams...i had a dream that i went to dallas to go hang out with K (as any Kool Kat would want to do) and before i knew it we were hanging out in china for a week. not such a good place for a cat.

and speaking of scary things there was also halloween. the girl and the husband actually carved a pretty cool pumpkin. basically it was me walking on the moon (makes me think of the song "walking on the moon" by the police). my only comment is that the carving looked nothing like me. and ive never been able to walk on the moon so i dont know where that idea came from...

During the days lately have been extremely fun while the girl and the husband are away. outside of the usual laps around the couch, and some hanging out with the fish i decided i would "further explore" some of my other toys, and other miscellaneous items around the house...

Well first off i have a feeling i am being blamed by the husband for his hangers being all over the floor. i may or may not have done this. but if someone can explain to me how a cat....WITHOUT HANDS can place hangers on the floor...i would love to know how its done.

so the bag with my super treats...i dont know how it wound up on the floor from the shelf...i seriously think it really did just fly off. i did want some though. but i may or may not have had some. besides if someone can explain to me how a cat can reseal a bag, please tell me...

MY TOYS!!! that was my hardest part of the days. all that playing is exhausting. i just passed out sleeping right next to the basket theyre all kept in. it was like someone passing out drunk...i tipped the basket and the toys went flying everywhere. and as for the device that is the source for the mysterious red dot...when possible go for the source of the problem. i batted the device around a little bit...well a lot actually. i think i have caused it enough damage where as to next time i can catch that dot i know it.

ive done a lot of catnip too. ohhhhh man i love that stuff. gives me the perfect high, then after all i want is some super treats...ohhhhhhhhhh yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i cant believe though that the girl proceded to flush it all down the toilet...was the house about to be raided? did she need to get rid of incriminating evidence quick? ill have to hit up my source for some more. i wonder if i can start growing some myself. maybe i can get the girl to teach me about gardening.

girl again left the chest open for me to sleep...she just wants me to be happy. i think she also likes to be reminded of me when shes away so i try to shed as much as possible on all of her clothes.

bathroom towels on bathroom floor...i deny doing this. next time please have them not be wet. i dont like sleeping on wet towels.

the bed spread...one of the more perfect places to sleep. its a good sunbathing area. and i can just sink into that bed spread. i give it a 9 out of 10

the case of the kitchen shelf. the girl and the husband come home to find this dislodged from its optimum position. it went from hanging on the wall to sitting on the floor. i may or may not have had anything to do with this. but let me ask the husband this...when you put the shelf up did you make sure to find the studs when hanging this shelf? for your reference studs are placed every 16 inches on center. did you do this? if not did you use anchors for extra strength when going directly into drywall? see so its not my fault. besides if they didnt want me to go on the shelf they wouldnt have put a shelf there.

so yeah its been an interesting little while at the house. i think ill try and get back into that treasure chest for some more wicked dreams...

One Year Later

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 21:08:58 GMT

Man Oh Manny has now been posting for a year now. Congratulations. The site kicks @ss and a lot of good things have come from it. Heres 2 quick songs that were FORCED ;-) j/k to be written to commemorate...even though they really dont mean anything...ha they make no sense...

"The Bloggers Song"

Manny, man oh manny

We really like you a lot

But manny man oh manny

Youll never catch that dot.

Now that we can see that

You are a really nice cool cat

We brought you to a vet and

then bloggers guessed your fat

Chorus:

We make you go to Vets

And wager on your weight with bets

You think everything is a toy,

But now youre no longer a boy.

V3:

But manny man oh manny

You chased those blueberries.

Who is your favorite team

The mets or the Yankees?

V4:

We watch American idol

Those people can not sing

I know you would rather play with

That fishy on that string.

Bridge: (Spoken)

You love Fish

You love super treats

You love running laps

You love fancy feast

You love that red dot and you know it!

(cheesy 80’s metal keytar solo)

Chorus:

We make you go to Vets

And wager on your weight with bets

You think everything is a toy,

But now youre no longer a boy.

"Good Times"

Verse 1:

Ive spent,

My life,

Trying to get the humans to give me super treats

Ive spent,

My whole life,

Just trying to get some humans to give me fancy feast.

Verse 2:

Tonight,

I cried,

When I realized I couldn’t catch that red dot

And im tired

Im so tired

Of chasing it, but ill keep my attempts alive.

Chorus:

Why don’t you see, my need for attention.

And why don’t you see, that I need more treats.

Why don’t you see, I hate those damn vet trips.

And why don’t you see, that it dims my soul.

Verse 3:

Ive Spent,

Most nights,

Running laps, around that same ole couch.

Ive spent,

Most of my nights,

trying to understand the thoughts of fish.

Bridge:

When those two awake

Will I have food inside my dish

Now when those two awake

Will I get some pets and get my toy mouse wish

Chorus:

Why don’t you see, my need for attention.

And why don’t you see, that I need more treats.

Why don’t you see, I hate those damn vet trips.

And why don’t you see, that it dims my soul.

Dr. Manny's twisted revenge

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 03:51:15 GMT

she must have known it was coming. she might even be surprised it took me this long to do it. But i finally carried out and launched "Operation MVP" (Operation Manny's Vet Payback). i am a somewhat vengeful feline and i live up to what i say. Like the U.S. special ops units i carry out my attacks in the middle of the night...under the cover of darkness (wow add a silly lyric about a demon in that last sentence and it can sound kind of like a Dio song). but anyway i launched Operation MVP with some recon starting at about 4:15AM.

By 4:27AM East Coast Time all surveillence was complete. I was in position and ready to move. At 4:30 it was finally time to move in. I went right for the girl starting with the head. I poked and prodded my nose right at and in the ear. She woke up, but as with any good attack i caught her by surprise. Heh...must have been an incredible and annoying inconvenience. I'm showing her...i think shes definitely getting the message!

Now that the first sense was taken care of i went right for the next sense...the eyes! More licks to the eyelids! She probably has no idea whats going on...shes caught totally off guard. With the attack on the ears, and then the eyes it must have left her totally disoriented. So next i moved in for the stomach.

Im clawing...im kneading...and i did this for as long as i can maintain the energy. finally i was spent. so i layed down and took a quick nap. surprise and confusion...the key to getting to any enemy.

i awoke a little bit later...time for round two. but this is only to make sure she gets my message of "dont bring me to the vet...and dont put me in that jailcell!" i got my toy mouse, and i just dropped it on her head. now, there was no true reason or symbolism for this one...so i did it just because. i mockingly tapped her with my paw over and over again. and what did she do...she pet my head. i hope i dont need to have another phase of this operation to get my message through. we will have to see. but my job was done for the night. for the time being i must go back to life as just an ordinary feline...